Showing posts with label Recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Recovery. Show all posts

Monday, March 9, 2009

Phew!

"I wanna dance! Turn it on! Please!" is what my daughter just said. My husband picked her up, turning on the cd player. They walk around the living room, shaking their booty. I sigh a, "phew," of relief, that she is back. 

But let me back up first. The first few months of DMSA cream went smoothly. Nothing notable, until almost the end of the three months, when, the morning after chelating I woke up to the smell of her in my bedroom. I jumped out of bed like a bolt of lightening, and raced her to the bathtub for a good scrub, head to toe. Especially her head, actually. The stench was pouring out of it.

That was the beginning of her emergence. Over night, two word phrases turned into full out sentences. Calm and contemplative became playful and sassy. She developed a personality, a spirit, all her own. It was what we all hope for. My heart sang with thanks. 

A couple weeks ago we did the DMSA again. It was the last of the cream, before we ordered the next refill. Our DAN! doctor had tried to warn me that there would be ups and downs with chelation, but I didn't pay attention. It was all going splendidly. 

Sure enough, we saw the ugly side of chelation. After the second of the three consecutive nights, she began to regress. Screaming replaced all her beautiful sentences. It was horrible. "What have I done?" I thought, the sickening feeling welling up in my stomach. Still we did the third and final night of cream, so we could collect her urine for testing the following day. 

Then my husband, feeling a little spooked as well, suggested we get new vitamins, since the liquid ones we had in the fridge were getting old, and no expiration date could be found. Slightly panicked by the screaming, and out of sorts, I dumped the vitamins, and for a few days we had little supplements to give her. She just screamed and screamed.

So we made a special trip to get her new liquid vitamins. We anxiously gave them to her the moment we arrived back home. Within 30 minutes she was screaming less, and beginning to talk. I gave her more later that day. Day by day, the screaming went away, and the sentences came back. Phew. 

Can I just tell you how freaky that was? Has this happened to you? My gut tells me that since we got that big toxic dump time before last, the last round pulled only vitamins and minerals. This is why we only chelate six days a month! To give us lots of time in between to replenish. We will see what the urine test shows.

But I don't think I can go on, and neither can my husband. We don't want to. We are so thankful for how much DMSA has done for her, up till this point, but now we feel it is time to stop, at least for now. 

I will also say, that I never saw such quick and dramatic results with her supplements, before her recent progress with DMSA cream. I haven't read or heard about this, that I can recall, but it seems to me that when she was holding all that poison, she wasn't absorbing vitamins and minerals. Now, with that big load off her, she absorbs supplements like never before. My husband and I are most impressed and fascinated by this. 

And, we're just glad that she's back and kicking butt. 

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Autism had my daughter.

My daughter never had autism. Autism had my daughter. 

Along with all that I surely passed to her in the womb, she was also exposed to toxins in vaccines, until her near death reaction, when we stopped giving them to her. She also comes from a long line of autoimmune disorders, putting her at greater risk for vaccine reactions, and autism, though I didn't know that until after the fact. 

Inability to detoxify, overgrowth of yeast in her entire body, and exposure to foods which affected her brain, were all symptoms which had her trapped. In pain. Freaking out. Screaming. Banging her head.

My daughter never had autism. Autism had my daughter.

We began by avoiding further exposure to poisons. We got rid of plastic, aluminum, and non-stick coating in the kitchen. Any unhealthy cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, everything we could think of. 

Then we did the seemingly logical thing, and got some therapists. They came with good intentions of course, but for a year, people were talking in front of our daughter, pointing out and dissecting her every flaw. Sure, she didn't appear to know what they were saying, she didn't even appear to know what was going on around her, but it affected her. 

I got rid of the therapists and started telling her how proud I was of her, how I knew she could do anything she wanted to do. I got to reading and researching, and that's when I found out about DAN! doctors, and the diet. 

Within days of the gluten-free/casein-free diet a lot of the autism went away.

My daughter never had autism. Autism had my daughter.

We began working with a DAN! doctor and nutritionist, fighting the yeast, healing the intestines, adding the vitamins. More and more the autism went away.

My daughter never had autism. Autism had my daughter.

Now, well into a year of chelation, she is beginning to emerge. Personality, sass, typical childlike behavior. I delight in her newly acquired language, the way she cuddles with me, the attitude, the singing, and the laughter. 

The autism is leaving and she is coming to life. 

My daughter never had autism. Autism had my daughter.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Why I was up all last night.

Last night I stumbled across a blog, written by a mom of a child with autism. I was so sickened and upset by what I read, that I couldn't sleep. My heart raced, my chest pounded, my arm pits sweat. In short I was a wreck.

Here is a portion of what I read that got me so upset:

"Dont Mourn For Us. By Jim Sinclair.

I invite you to look at our autism, and look at your grief, from our perspective:
Autism is not an appendage
Autism isn't something a person has, or a "shell" that a person is trapped inside. There's no normal child hidden behind the autism. Autism is a way of being. It is pervasive; it colors every experience, every sensation, perception, thought, emotion, and encounter, every aspect of existence. It is not possible to separate the autism from the person--and if it were possible, the person you'd have left would not be the same person you started with.
This is important, so take a moment to consider it: Autism is a way of being. It is not possible to separate the person from the autism.

[This article was published in the "Our Voice," the newsletter of Autism Network International, Volume 1, Number 3, 1993. It is an outline of the presentation I gave at the 1993 International Conference on Autism in Toronto, and is addressed primarily to parents.]"

If you know a different kind of autism, the one that my daughter and I know, then perhaps you too have a pounding feeling in your heart right now. My reaction to this is:

Oh yes! I’ve heard about this before!
Children with autism aren’t in need of any help!
They are enlightened!
They have a higher level of consciousness!
That’s why my daughter screamed all day long,
Her eyes bugging out of her head,
Her hands flapping,
Like she was hallucinating!
Why she banged her head on the floor and the wall,
Why she couldn’t sleep all night,
Why she doubled up in stomach pain,
Threw heavy objects,
Hurt other children,
Ran into heavy traffic,
Acted like she was deaf,
Pooped and peed in her pants and
Didn’t speak!
How silly of me to help her.
I must have been a fool.


I'm not judging adults like Jim Sinclair, who are healthy and happy, so why does this article make me so furious? Because I have devoted myself to helping my daughter, who was not healthy or happy, and this article stands in judgement of me. This article insults me because it supposes that my daughter is fine, and that I am wrong to "change" her. It accuses me of doing her harm, which is the exact opposite of what I have done.

My daughter is a different person now. She is healthy and happy now. And I take full blame. Shame on me.